You know, I can sit here all month long and seem to be just fine. Then the 15th comes and something just seems to be just plain flat off. I can't seem to put my finger on it but it is just off. Then at some point during the day (or night) I realize the next day is the 16th.
Yesterday that happened to me again. The last 2 or 3 months I have been doing that. I cannot seem to figure out why I can't focus and then I realize the 16th was the next day, which is now today. Mari has been gone exactly 18 months or for a year and a half.
Then tomorrow will come and if it is like all the other 17th's I will be ok and back to focusing again.
I think I unconsciously try not to think about the 16th even though I know it's coming but ultimately doing this stops me from being able to concentrate on what's coming.
I have officially put the 15th and 16th in my calendar until July to make sure this does not happen again to where I feel blindsided. I figure, worst case scenario is I don't do anything 2 days out of the month. I don't think that is too bad.
Mommy loves you baby girl and she misses you very much.
Love, Mommy
Posts
Letting go
12 years ago
