Pictures...

Today I sit here thinking about my wonderful husband. He has been my rock through all of this. He has been the one to help get me through. Keith has been my everything and I am sure he will continue to be for many years to come.

Today has been a good day for me. I have not cried and I have not felt as sad as I normally am. This is a good thing.


The two paragraphs above were written yesterday.

Pictures. All of a sudden I am sitting here thinking about pictures. I started to think about pictures because of my profile pictures I have on Facebook. I initially had a pictures of me, Keith and Mari together. Recently I changed it to a picture of just me. Then that got me to thinking. I was thinking about one of the last time I had had a picture taken of me by myself. It has been several years. Then I got to thinking about when that exactly was. I think the last time I had a professional picture taken of me by myself is before we had Mari. I would have our family picture done, but that only consisted of Keith and I. We would have a couple together and then we would have one done of each one of us by ourselves. I would always stick the one of us together in the middle and then our individual pictures on the other side. We have not done that in years.

With Mari, the focus has always been Mari. One time Keith and I took a picture of us together but we also had two family pictures and pictures of Mari by herself along with Keith and I each being alone with Mari.

Now we have to go back to having a family picture done of us just the two of us again. How does this seem right. It just doesn’t. I am at such a loss. I was sitting her playing on Facebook and just procrastinating on getting to my homework and then for some reason I started thinking about my profile pic.

I have had our family pictures done almost every year right around Christmas time so that I can send everyone an updated picture of us for the year. December 2007 we were moving and I just said we would do it next year. Now there is now next year. Mari is gone. Now we HAVE to go back to the way we used to do it. I cannot stand that.

I think when we go to get our first family picture done without Mari that I may bring a picture of her along with us as in my heart and my mind she will just be our little angel there with us. I just miss her so much. I love you baby girl.