To The Love Of My Life - married 15 years February 18

To the man I love
You are my partner, my friend
You are the one I choose
to not live my life without

You have become my everything
I don’t know exactly when this happened
But you are why I am here today

You have shown me
what patience looks like
You have shown me what true
unconditional love really is
You have shown me that God
really does work in mysterious ways

Mari is gone and you are here
We are here
We are there for each other
in both the good days and the bad
When trouble comes you have been my rock,
my foundation which I stand

You have shown me faith
like no other could have
When we were at our lowest
you still turned to God
When most others would have
turned the other way

This is the picture of true love
Thank you for showing me
how to love like no other could have

On this earth we don’t know
when our time is up;
when it is our time
to go see the Lord

On this earth our time together
will seem like it can last forever
God only knows how long
this will truly be

The reality is no matter if we both live until tomorrow
or for another 50 years,
it is only a blink of an eye for God
The only thing we have is
eternity together beside our Lord

I can honestly say I would not
want it any other way
I love you Keith
I love you

Music of the Heart

I was not sure if I could handle going back to church this morning. I have tried two times since Mari passed. Each time I could not make it through. I sit here writing this as those around me are signing. Singing was one of the things I used to love to do in church. It meant so much to me and I put my heart and soul into it. I just can’t seem to do that. Singing has always meant so much to me. In my high school youth group is where I was introduced to contemporary Christian songs. I am so thankful I was 20 years ago as it has forever been a part of my life, and it has grown into a true love for music as the words are some of the most heartfelt words about our Lord and those around us. I think this is why they are so incredibly hard for me to sing. They truly have always touched me in the very bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. One day I know I will be able to sing them again, just not today.

Mari's Crayons

I sit here in church today just hoping I will make it through. I found Mari’s crayons she used to color with in my Bible bag this morning. The bag was on the very top shelf of our bedroom closet. Just imagine, it was as if there were dust atop the bag as it had been up on that shelf since we moved into our home in September. I went through the bag just to make sure of what was in there. There they sat; her crayons. When we used to go to church with Mari in tow this is partly how we could keep her entertained during the church service until she was released for the children’s portion during the sermon. The last time I used this bag was in our Burbank home. Her crayons were there so you know I have not touched this bag since before she died. In the back of my notebook that I use are a bunch of her drawings she would draw while she was bored in church. There are her little people, her name as she wrote it, her numbers 1-5, and mnay other little things she felt were so interesting to her. When I found the drawings this morning it brought me back to my precious little angel as I can see her making her little noises as she draws. They are and forever will be precious to me and those who knew her personally.