The Value of a Mom’s Tears (or Dad's)

To me crying is never embarrassing because it is the way I truly express myself. It shows that I am sad. However, tears can make those around you so uncomfortable.

I was recently given an article written by Dr. Joyce Brothers. Now she is before most our time (although I have heard of her before) but she wrote something about tears when she lost her husband. I felt that I could turn this article into something that can become applicable for a mother and/or father who has lost a child.

When a father cries you know they are incredibly sad. Men just do not cry that often. When a mother cries it just makes those around her uncomfortable and about as popular as a child throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a store – not popular at all. A common reaction is to tell them not to cry. That crying will not help. Tears will not bring back your son/your daughter. They simply won’t help.

What most people fail to realize is that they do – they actually do. Tears are a way to help the mom, the dad, to make it through this incredibly hard time in their lives. So, this typical everyday reaction to tears is “the worst possible reaction.” Tears help more anyone could even imagine. The mother and father needs to cry. They will stop when they no longer need the tears – when they no longer need to cry. The tears are not only their friend but they are their best friend. They are there for them when no one else is or can be. “They are an early healing device – a kind of emotional first aid.”

I did not know this but she goes onto report: “Tears of sadness or anger contain leucine-eukephalin, one of the brain’s natural pain relievers. They also contain prolactin, a hormone that encourages the secretion o f tears.” It is interesting to note that women actually have half the amount of prolactin compared to men. Think about why women cry so much more than men do.

“‘Before our experiments, which revealed the presence of prolactin and leucine-enkephalin in tears, we had located them in the central nervous system,’ reported Dr. William Frey II, biochemist and research director of the Dry Eye and Tear Research Center at the St. Paul-Ramsey Center in Minneapolis. ‘We asked ourselves – what are these brain chemicals doing in tears?’”

“The answer, Dr. Frey believes, is that crying triggers the brain to release these chemicals. ‘Crying is an exocrine process,’ he says, ‘a process in which a substance – like sweat or urine or feces – comes out of the body, cleansing it of toxic substances. There is every reason to believe crying does the same. Crying does not just feel good – it appears to be an evolutionary device for adapting to emotional stress. When a woman is sad or angry, crying removes the chemicals that build up during stress and helps her feel better.’”

When I read the article and what the doctors say about crying it makes so much sense to me. When I have by crying, especially when I have just been sobbing, I tend to feel so much better. It is good to know that my crying is actually a benefit for my body. Crying has been such a release for me. Between crying and my writing I know this is what is getting me through the most.

I don’t know if this interested anyone else but I felt it was interesting enough to share with those that I love and care about and those that love and care about me.