Life In General...

I was just sitting here thinking tonight about life in general. The last 8 months have been more than I ever thought possible. Two days before Mari had gotten sick, my mom’s brother, my Uncle Ray died in his sleep. I believe he was only 62 or 63 years old. I remember growing up and spending the night at his house on Christmas Eve with our ENTIRE BIG family. I think he may have even played Santa a few times. That was our first huge blow for the year.

Then Mari got sick. We all know how that turned out but that blow seems to never heal. With my Uncle Ray, I love him dearly and I miss him but unfortunately I had not seen him in several years. I think maybe the last night had been at my Grandpa’s wedding 10 years ago. Time seems to just go by so quickly and then you don’t even realize when it is really flying by until it is too late. I don’t think he ever even got to meet Mari. Actually, most of my family out in California never did. My aunt Janine and my cousin Todd got to meet Mari when she was 5 years old (about 3 years before she died). Other than my mom, my brother, my sister, and my grandpa, no one else from my mom’s side of the family ever got to even meet her. They have all heard stories but they never got to meet the bright shining start that she was.

When Mari got sick and then died, I thought my world had come to an end. I can honestly say that I know nothing else in this life will ever be as hard as losing Mari. But I do know that I will continue to go on. My world has not ended. I just have to find my new purpose in life. Going to school definitely helps (at least it is distracting otherwise I just might go nuts J).

Then in January, we found out my husband’s father has moderately aggressive prostate cancer. He has not been feeling well. It seems like he has even been losing weight because he really is not very hungry. This man means the world to me. I never knew what it was like to have a father in my life and for the first time he has shown me how a father should be. He has become the father I never had. I feel so lucky to have my husband’s family as they are and will forever be my family as well. I love them all so much. We are just all praying that he will be ok. If he passes all of his pretests he can then have surgery to hopefully remove the cancer.

Then last month on February 16 we lost two very important people to us. Anthony and Anita Wilcox. These two people were two of the most loving individuals anyone could have ever known. They were always there for you when you really needed them. Anthony came up to the hospital several times while Mari was in the hospital and Anita came a few times as well. One day, about two weeks after Mari had passed, Anthony had come over to where we were staying at the time to drop something off for Keith (at the time he had been Keith’ 1st Sgt). I was at home alone. He saw that I was lonely and just needed someone to talk to so he just sat there and listened. He was there well over an hour but he just listened. I felt like I had just rambled on. That was just the kind of person he was.

People say things happen in threes; well I hope they are wrong because we have had 4 in the last 7 months. I am good for awhile.